2020 was a kinda bad year for me but a really good year for my dog who did not have to be alone for a single second
— Dana Donnelly (@danadonly) December 14, 2020
I’ve almost reached my 100 book reading goal for 2020 just 99 books to go
— Sarah Cooper (@sarahcpr) December 15, 2020
Youngest sisters be like "Can I have a Porsche for Christmas, thanks you're a doll 😘,"
— Bolu Babalola (@BeeBabs) December 10, 2020
My boyfriend got his covid vaccine yesterday and I can tell you the most prominent side effect is the inability to shut up about getting the covid vaccine
— Emaperidol (@Emaperidol) December 16, 2020
I printed 40 Christmas cards and after sending them to all my friends and family, I have 37 left.
— Hanna Dickinson (@hansdickie) December 13, 2020
do u think during the Great Depression they were like “ugh the year 1933 am I right”
— kylie brakeman (@deadeyebrakeman) December 13, 2020
you’ve heard of cliffhangers, now get ready
— anja (@internetanja) December 14, 2020
pronouncing fettuccine like medicine
— elise navidad (@crocfanpage) December 13, 2020
I’d rather risk losing circulation to my arm than make a second trip pic.twitter.com/qPzc5MSTlj
— ☠︎ (@lenarios27) December 16, 2020
MY PARENTS DIDN’T RAISE A QUITTER!! They raised ᵃ ᴾʳᵒᶜʳᵃˢᵗᶦⁿᵃᵗᵒʳ
— 𝕚𝕞𝕞𝕒𝕟 (@immantweets) December 16, 2020
Start each day with a positive thought like, "I can go back to bed in about 16 hours."
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) December 17, 2020
My ex left a ziploc bag of banana laffy taffy on my door step with a note that says "I know you always said I didn't listen to you but I still remember your favorite laffy taffy flavor".
My favorite laffy taffy flavor is strawberry.
— 🖤Megan🖤 (@Flanjam) December 14, 2020
I am an ADULT. I have a JOB. I pay my BILLS. I cover all my vegetables in CHEESE because otherwise they're GROSS
— andie 🎁 (@AndieIsOnline) December 15, 2020
Adults seemed way adultier when I was a little
— 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐨𝐥𝐞 𝐌𝐮𝐯𝐚 ⚜️ (@rebelleflowerr_) December 13, 2020
ratatouille this and ratatouille that what about some respect for my friggin girlies pic.twitter.com/3G8bRmZXai
— Maggie? Winters? (@saggiesplinters) December 15, 2020
Whenever I see someone trying to parallel park I avert my eyes and continue walking giving them the privacy they need because I’m a decent human being
— Tomi Obaro (@TomiObaro) December 16, 2020
me: gender is a social construct
me to my cat: Mr. Sir! You are just a little boy who is a man. Mr. Sir Boy!
— permanent secretary for paul mccartney (@GraceSpelman) December 13, 2020
My dad say that the LOTR trilogy is a Christmas movie “because it has elves”
— Kara, 2 finger pussy (@dj_big_naturals) December 14, 2020
"ok but have you considered not even trying to do this thing you agreed to months ago because who even was that person?"--my brain, on a deadline
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) December 14, 2020
safely taking a socially distanced trip w 19 friends who have ALL been safe.we took the trip safely. 1st we got on the socially distanced plane that was at full capacity.then we safely took ubers to the safe air bnb where we had a socially distanced (safe!!) lunch at an indoor re
— lindsey (@oldlinds) December 13, 2020
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Preview photo credit: dj_big_naturals / twitter.com