R.I.P. 2020 (2020 - 2020)
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) December 31, 2020
At this point. Just give us $2600 cause we all confused.
— ʙʟᴀᴄᴋ ᴜɴɪᴠᴇʀsᴇ (@the1stBran) December 28, 2020
Closure isn’t real. Cut your hair, get a tattoo, rob a bank and start dating again.
— m i s h (@_moimichelle) December 27, 2020
I bought myself binoculars for an early birthday gift. Bout to watch tf out of these birds.
— Ashley C. Ford (@iSmashFizzle) December 30, 2020
I love hitting a paywall and being like "guess we'll never know"
— aubrey (@aubreybell) December 29, 2020
What’s your small, meaningless grift? Mine is I used to tell people I’d read Ulysses
— Lindsay Hunter (@lindsaydevon) December 28, 2020
there is no greater lie than me calling my yoga pants "yoga pants"
— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) December 29, 2020
Talking myself into taking a break like pic.twitter.com/RCQZo7JsMJ
— ᴮᴱKate Sánchez⁷ (@OhMyMithrandir) December 27, 2020
when i got my first gyno exam as a teenager, the gynecologist asked me what I wanted to do for a career. I said I wanted to be an artist. Then while checking my cervix she said- “i wanted to be a muppeteer”.
— 𝕷𝖎𝖘𝖆 𝕯𝖚𝕭𝖔𝖎𝖘 (@joaniejabronie) December 27, 2020
hi friends- for the new year I’m taking a break from life so I can focus on social media. if you need me you can find me here, constantly
— Ely Kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) December 31, 2020
anyone: happy nye
my brain: happy new york ecity
— Hillary (Not Sara) (@smithsara79) January 1, 2021
my favorite part of home alone is when they briefly consider chartering a private plane but decide the kid is not worth it defund winnetka, illinois
— ziwe (@ziwe) December 27, 2020
How do I tell my boyfriend that I want him to scream at me in bed like he’s Gordon Ramsey and I am a little chef who just ruined a crème brûlée
— 🕊 (@dovenymph) December 31, 2020
WHEN THIS PANDEMIC IS OVER I'M GONNA GO WILD addressing my non-urgent medical issues that i've been ignoring
— dr. dalia malek داليا عبد الملك ☥𓂀 (@DALIA) December 28, 2020
Hilaria Baldwin needs to take this whole mess to the Red Table...or as she would say, the Mesa Roja.
— Julia Young (@okjulia) December 28, 2020
I assume a Peloton is like $10,000
so every time a person I know buys one I’m like holy sh*t is everyone a millionaire?! I will not look up the actual price
— amil (@amil) December 27, 2020
could i interest u in plant? pic.twitter.com/uz0IYkh8Ah
— 𝑒𝓂𝑜𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃𝒶𝓁 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓇𝓉𝓎 (@FrickinDelanie) December 30, 2020
can’t trust a guy who faces the other way whilst you’re sleeping. what’s over there? other women??
— ً (@tularosaax) December 27, 2020
I am a WRITER ok I open up my little computer when I have an IDEA and then I BUY THINGS on the INTERNET
— danielle weisberg (@danielleweisber) December 29, 2020
wowww it’s 2021 here in korea!! wanna know what the future is like?!!
- it is dark out
- everyone is asian
- my grandma is gently snoring
— Karen Chee (@karencheee) December 31, 2020
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Preview photo credit: meganamram / twitter.com