pride AND prejudice? in this economy??
— Karen Chee (@karencheee) November 22, 2020
chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing
— cass (@cassthevirgin) November 22, 2020
Did you have a happy childhood or are you funny?
— 𝕗𝕚𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕥🙆🏾♀️ (@Neyogems) November 21, 2020
who called it Antiques Road Show and not Strangers’ Things
— caitie delaney (@caitiedelaney) November 21, 2020
damn you really gotta eat every day forever
— taylor garron (@taylorgarron) November 23, 2020
Tell me why my mom thought The Rock’s float was Ruth Bader Ginsburg pic.twitter.com/ckvMo431ud
— caycedilla (@caycemorris) November 26, 2020
Me: Wow, a show where they decorate houses for Christmas? They’ll really make a show out of anything.
Cut to me 20 minutes later: SOBBING when they reveal the final decor. I will watch every episode.
— Ashley Nicole Black (@ashleyn1cole) November 21, 2020
another day of staring at the big screen while scrolling through my little screen so as to reward myself for staring at the medium screen all week
— Delia Cai (@delia_cai) November 22, 2020
if you knew me before my 20s, you never actually knew me. you knew season 1 me. we were severely underfunded and the writing team was going through a lot.
— Audrey Porne (@AudreyPorne) November 22, 2020
2016: yay, I voted.
2020: I know what every member of every state’s vote certification committee eats at 3 pm on Tuesdays.
— Kashana (@kashanacauley) November 23, 2020
I just got mad at a movie I'm watching because I don't know what's going on in it because I've been playing around on my phone.
— Akilah Green (@akilahgreen) November 23, 2020
me: no problemo
narrator: but it was all problemo
— lil red (@lilredridingwud) November 23, 2020
i'm already so annoyed that my grandkids are going to be interviewing me for book reports on the 2020 pandemic expecting me to be profound and i'm gonna have to be like "i spent all the whole thing sending friends tiktok links against their will and eating cake and crying"
— emma lord (@dilemmalord) November 23, 2020
My boyfriend does this completely insane thing where sometimes, when I ask him to take a photo of me, he takes exactly ONE photo
— Ginny Hogan_ (@ginnyhogan_) November 22, 2020
whenever it gets dark by 4pm in the winter, i feel like telling the sun "i hate seeing you like this--i wish you'd just talk to me"
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) November 24, 2020
What is Joe Biden’s plan to stop recipe bloggers from telling a long, unskippable, mostly unrelated childhood memory before sharing the damn recipe?
— Zuri Davis (@ProperlyZuri) November 25, 2020
one time a guy I had just started dating was on a podcast where the host asked if he was in a relationship, and after audibly panicking for a minute he said “look, if she died in a plane crash, I would be sad”
— Sarah Lazarus (@sarahclazarus) November 26, 2020
I wish I could say “???????” In real life, it would be very useful
— bri (@caringbrats) November 21, 2020
I’ve never planned a better party than the one I planned when I was 8 pic.twitter.com/oFr1vaqHSN
— Emily Flake (@EmilyFlake) November 23, 2020
Visit our "Funniest Tweets From Women" page for past roundups.
Preview photo credit: caringbrats / twitter.com