The 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week
Should I live in New York where people think I'm stupid or LA where people think I’m ugly.
My mom pronounces it “aunt tiffa” and I laugh every time.
— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) September 5, 2020
Is “gobble me swallow me” a good caption to use on thanksgiving??
— ✨🌱🍄🌞🧚🏼♀️ ✨ (@carriejjeffries) September 6, 2020
therapist: how have you been coping with everything
me: with sarcasm mostly
therapist: has that been working
me: yeah it's been super great
— nash™ (@itsnashflynn) September 7, 2020
Who are the siblingless people writing “hey sis!” and “hey bro!” into every movie and tv show
— Maybe: Lauren Ashley Smith (@msLAS) September 6, 2020
should i live in new york where people think i’m stupid or LA where people think i’m ugly
— trash jones (@jzux) September 9, 2020
when i was 22 i dated a guy who was 27 who broke up w me because we were “just at different places in our lives” and then he told me “for example i have to stretch every morning”
— steph mccann (@steph_mcca) September 8, 2020
if i were shania twain, i would tweet “let’s go girls” every single morning for the rest of my life
— Liz Maupin (@LizMaupin) September 7, 2020
"Are we still on?" - An attempt to cancel
— Gladys Knife (@jewelnotjule) September 10, 2020
Does anyone really see a problem with demon possession? I for two do not.
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) September 8, 2020
I'm not saying I was drunk, I'm just saying that I don't recommend washing paper plates in the dishwasher.
— 🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ🎭 (@3sunzzz) September 7, 2020
Very tempted to start a podcast called “Are You Mad at Me?” just so I have a quasi-reasonable excuse to interview every single one of my friends each week, at length, to determine whether or not they are actually in fact mad at me
— Julia Carpenter (@juliaccarpenter) September 9, 2020
Imagine you miss a payment on a TESLA and it drives itself back to the dealership.
— BAYB❤️🤍🖤 (@DawnKeKe) September 7, 2020
Zac Efron is dating a 25 year old waitress he met while she was working. It’s so hard to see someone else living your dream.
— Claire (@ClaireeeGallxo) September 9, 2020
A trust fall but it’s just me taking off my bra
— Vision Bored (@VisionBored1) September 8, 2020
i don't know if yall feel me but.. september, october, november is the LMNOP of the year
— bby noun (@shutupaida) September 8, 2020
Lmao they really gave some Americans $1200 n said god bless you on your journey
— ho in this house (@JoellasWorld) September 7, 2020
Revealing my baby's gender by crashing a tanker full of pink oil into a delicate coral reef
— Pjörk🐷 (@NicoleConlan) September 7, 2020
I just matched with my old Spanish tutor on hinge and messaged him “hola” and he responded “u were always terrible at Spanish” 😭😭😭
— carol(yn) (@ballerguy) September 8, 2020
online school sucks bc i can’t ask the person sitting next to me what we’re supposed to be doing
— soph (@wacksoph) September 8, 2020
White managers when they see you eating your ethnic lunch: “Whatcha got there?”
— lele (@orang3_aura) September 8, 2020
Visit our "Funniest Tweets From Women" page for past roundups.
Preview photo credit: jewelnotjule / twitter.com