#1

White woman just walked off the elevator chuckling and said “so do we say ‘happy impeachment” or ‘merry impeachment?’”

I almost fell over.

— Furia Morgendorffer (@KidFury) December 18, 2019

#2

Me winning fake The shampoo
arguments in the bottles
shower pic.twitter.com/qYY3WZjAbB

— imen (@imenchakirr) December 28, 2019

#3

Queen Elizabeth knows bad vibes when she sees it pic.twitter.com/KjB7Ec3FeA

— . (@Willzzzyy_) December 25, 2019

#4

Baby Yoda implies the existence of a Sporty Yoda, Scary Yoda, Ginger Yoda, and Posh Yoda

— Orli Matlow (@HireMeImFunny) December 30, 2019

#5

They found her old tweets pic.twitter.com/7eJZRKO8JK

— Zack Bornstein (@ZackBornstein) November 6, 2019

#6

White dudes will be like "there he is, the man, the myth, the legend!" And it's just Garrett

— Kyle (@KylePlantEmoji) December 18, 2019

#7

10pm at your parents’ house as an adult feels like 3am at your own apartment.

— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) December 24, 2019

#8

Me: "Can I have some friends over ?"

My mother: "who is coming?"

Me: pic.twitter.com/6qq11lDNgi

— Stephen (@Stephenlough95) December 18, 2019

#9

how to get attention on twitter:

strategy 1. strategy 2. https://t.co/61HMdIXgIu

— sarmad (@srmdhdsn) December 27, 2019

#10

This is peak meme. So simple. So deep. So powerful. The avant-garde of memes. pic.twitter.com/FkUJwaofLK

— RDX (@radixhidayat) December 28, 2019

#11

january rent watching all your christmas and new years eve plans pic.twitter.com/cuPCELLkEF

— in charge of the girls (@AmeriKraut) December 26, 2019

#12

There is a YouTube video titled How to Unzip A Compressed File Folder. It has 410k views.

Go on and write your blog, girl. Somebody wants to see it.

— LaQuita G (@loudblkgrl) December 28, 2019

#13

using gift cards from last year to buy christmas gifts for this year pic.twitter.com/hRcfEti8Cq

— Mose Bergmann (@bosemergmann) December 25, 2019

#14

Y2SHAF, Cristiano / Via twitter.com

#15

cloud_surferrr / Via twitter.com

#16

your crush can have a little red flag, as a treat

— stuart fiddle (@stuartfiddle) December 25, 2019

#17

Omg I’m Having a hard time decorating my new crib which one y’all think? pic.twitter.com/9tN5PpfYyB

— The (@tiffany_lenice) December 17, 2019

#18

Her: I want Airpods for Christmas
Me: here you go pic.twitter.com/qzR6Ft7idw

— Ađéđiméji (@DeeTwoGd) December 25, 2019

#19

yes daddy:
-overplayed
-unoriginal
-insinuates daddy issues

yes chef:
-powerful
-makes a statement
-one way ticket to flavortown

— JEANIE (@jeanieofficial) December 30, 2019

#20

*opening gifts*
me: :D

my mom: do you love it ⍢⃝

my dad: HEY EVERYONE PUT YOUR WRAPPING PAPER IN THIS BAG. Hey, tell your, TELL UR SISTER TO PUT THE WRAPPING PAPER IN THIS BAG. CAN YOU GRAB THAT PIECE FOR ME. Here what IF I HAND YOU THE BAG. DONT JUST THROW IT OVER THERE, I—

— Jordan with a y (@jojomartian) December 25, 2019

#21

Saying “See you next year!” on December 31st

- Corny and annoying
- Everybody hates you
- Seriously this joke sucks

Saying “See you next year!” on January 31st

- Mysterious
- Are you going on a long adventure?
- You may not understand how years work

— the drake gatsby (@DrakeGatsby) December 20, 2019

#22

writtenbybeja, nypost / Via twitter.com

#23

Dudes Play NINTENDO SWITCH But Never INTEND TO SWITCH Their Bed Sheets

— 36 (@simpdog) December 15, 2019

#24

calling a guy “my ex”

-not true
-but makes it seem like he was my boyfriend

calling a guy “someone i only slept w 4 times over the course of three weeks but spent 6 months crying over”

-true
-but makes me look pathetic

— Dana Donnelly (@danadonly) December 24, 2019

#25

THIS LITTLE GIRL I’M BABYSITTING JUST ASKED ME IF I HAVE A BOYFRIEND AND I SAID NOT ANYMORE AND SHE SAID “BOYFRIENDS ARE A WASTE OF TIME” AND THEN SHE TURNS TO HER BROTHER AND TELLS HIM “YOU’RE GONNA BE A WASTE OF TIME”

— madison (@itsmadimay) December 15, 2019

#26

“He sent you a merry xmas text today because he’s desperate and wants attention. And he knows YOU will give him attention. But did he give you attention 2 weeks ago when YOU wanted it? NO.” pic.twitter.com/eADtJNSnqI

— ʝȶ (@yourboyfriendjt) December 25, 2019

#27

When you see a tweet that’s just a little funny pic.twitter.com/3mFrw9Kgkq

— Baby Pink (@StraightLaced43) December 1, 2019

#28

When you come back home smelling like another dog: pic.twitter.com/PntPQRu4IW

— Dieghoe (@diegheaux) December 29, 2019

#29

elle91 / Via twitter.com

Preview photo credit: elle91 / twitter.com