Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways.
Just heard the four words I dread most when I'm on a work call: "Can someone wipe me?"
— Jessica Grose (@JessGrose) July 2, 2020
So my kid interrupted my zoom lab meeting to inform me (and everyone else) that “daddy is pooping.” How’s your day going? Mine is in serious need of boundaries.
— Sarah Stern (@sarah_stern) March 20, 2020
A perk of the whole fam working at home: my 15yo son was able to interrupt his Dad’s zoom meeting to tell him he’s officially taller than him. #6feetandgrowing
— Liz McGuire (@ewmcguire) April 23, 2020
The kids just ran shirtless past my husband’s Zoom meeting and one of them shouted, “BUT ARE THEY NIBBLES OR NIPPLES???” so that’s how working from home is going today
— Melissa Bowers (@MelissaBowers_) April 14, 2020
2020 mood: my director’s son interrupted our zoom meeting at 9:45am to ask for a popsicle.
— huntz (@hunterstrudel) August 18, 2020
During a one hour zoom call this afternoon, my son interrupted me to ask “What is an invasive species? What is abundant?” And finally, “what is civilization?” That last one might take a while to answer...
— Erin Marie Furtak (@furtak) April 15, 2020
My daughter told me not to worry about lunch, that she would make it for herself, and she's eating a "pita bread sandwich" the inside of which is nutella. My other daughter interrupted a zoom work call to raise an "urgent question" about chocolate truffles. So we're good.
— Bathsheba Crocker (@shebacrocker) August 26, 2020
And for today’s Zoom Conference Call entertainment - my child can be heard performing what I can only assume is an exorcism on her troll dolls. And fart noises.
Please don’t fire me.
— Amanda Marcotte | Mediocre Mommy (@storiesofamom) April 7, 2020
Pure professionalism at the zoom faculty meeting, on mute while my kid says a single word, over and over again, and that word is waffles. pic.twitter.com/E59nlxWcf9
— caleb smith (@calebsmith203) May 12, 2020
[any time my family enters the room when I’m working]
- are you on a call?
- is it a video call?
- are you on mute?
- is it the kind where you have to pay attention?
- are you even awake?
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) August 6, 2020
Little known fact: The loudest sound ever recorded is a child announcing that their brother is pooping while their father is on a work related zoom call with an unmuted mic...
— No Idea: Daddy Blog (@byclintedwards) October 8, 2020
My kids just pounded on my office door yelling "FBI - open up!!!" when I was on a work call, so yeah, I'm totally looking forward to them going back to school in-person.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) November 2, 2020
Got interrupted during a Zoom work call today to answer my son's urgent question: “Dad! Dad! [waves hands] Is there any other way to make lava besides a volcano?”
— Panio Gianopoulos (@panio) September 22, 2020
boss: are you there?
my kid: *into mic* daddy's taking a pee
— The Dad (@thedad) April 21, 2020
My daughter successfully contributed to a Canadian stereotype by entering my video conference call with 4 American colleagues by offering me a Tim Hortons donut. 😂
— Christina Evans (@cakevans) April 20, 2020
When I’m on a work call and my kid can be heard in the background, I just explain that I’m fostering a velociraptor.
— HowToBeADad (@HowToBeADad) April 27, 2020
Kids: Are you on a work call?
Kids: okay [all use saucepans as drums to recreate STOMP]
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) July 30, 2020
Kids will really interrupt you while you’re on a work call and tell you it’s very urgent and then .... ask you where their favourite pen is
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) May 5, 2020
6: Will you make me a sandwich?
Me: I’m on a zoom meeting
6: Pause it
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) August 13, 2020
throwback to last week when my english teacher’s son interrupted the zoom class to talk about the clone wars
— jude ❦ (@sithswifts) April 19, 2020
A coworker's kid kept jumping in on zoom wearing a dinosaur costume and his mom said "that's my interrupt-asaurus" with the straightest of faces I am deceased
— Becky Brinkerhoff (@beckythehoff) October 30, 2020
My 4yo daughter interrupted the zoom graduate oral exam I was sitting on to demand my can of seltzer, then threw her head back and chugged the whole thing in front of everyone.
— Phil Gentry (@pmgentry) April 7, 2020
As I anxiously started a zoom meeting today my 6yo burst in
He asked who I was talking to, then called her by name: “HI MISS MELISSA!”
She smiled, then sighed:
“Well that was the cutest thing I’ve seen all week.”
I smiled too
A stressful meeting just got a lot easier
— Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) October 8, 2020
Yesterday my profs 4 year old daughter interrupted our zoom meeting thrice demanding to be put in her Rapunzel dress and each time he reminded her she did not own a Rapunzel dress which caused a look of betrayal so intense to spread across her face that even i was mad at him
— biological stasis (@LipstickFacade) March 31, 2020
Asked my son what he wanted for lunch and he said he wasn’t hungry, then 15 mins later I’m on a work call and he suddenly barges in and asks for lunch so I said, “TOO BAD, YOU BLEW IT!” and then I gave him the leftover pizza I was looking forward to because PARENTING IS BULLSH*T
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) September 28, 2020
My husband just told me that on a work call today, he said, “OK, I’m hanging up,” and our 3 year old said, “OK, I’m hanging butt.” It’s the best thing that’s happened to me this week tbh
— Jessica Grose (@JessGrose) March 21, 2020
I locked my office so my kids wouldn’t interrupt my work meeting, but then my 6yo knocked and knocked, until I stood up and answered. Naturally, I forgot to shut off my camera, and now everyone knows my work polo was tucked into my sweatpants, and that dogs can ride surfboards.
— No Idea: Daddy Blog (@byclintedwards) September 24, 2020
I definitely have not learned a foreign language or how to play a new instrument during COVID-19, but I have mastered the art of breaking up my kids’ arguments by launching snacks at them while on a Zoom call, so there’s that.
— Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets (@gfishandnuggets) July 17, 2020
Son: Here’s the trick to surviving the zombie apocalypse - Become a zombie early. Forget running in terror. Now you RULE the zombies.
Me (muting myself on my work Zoom meeting): Look bud, we've talked about this. How do you get them to accept YOU as their leader? They're lawless
— The Dad (@thedad) May 16, 2020
My son (5) ran in and interrupted my husband’s zoom meeting recently. He repeatedly yelled at his coworkers “what’s 999,999 plus 1!?!?” while watching himself jump up and down on the screen 😂😂 Luckily it was a company happy hour 🤦♀️
— Marlisa Pillsbury, PhD (@Marlipie) August 13, 2020
So far I’ve awkwardly apologized for:
• my cat typing nonsense on my
computer in a work group chat
• my toddler screaming “I NEED HELP
WIPING” on a conference call
• and the choral musings of Frozen 2
Working from home is going great.
— Amanda Marcotte | Mediocre Mommy (@storiesofamom) March 18, 2020
My son interrupted two zoom calls today:
Once to tell me a joke
Second time he was crying because his computer kept freezing pic.twitter.com/PHvBWOIoqL
— Pariss Athena⚡️Founder of Black Tech Pipeline (@ParissAthena) July 28, 2020
— Annabelle Kemendo (@AKemendo) May 5, 2020
Preview photo credit: calebsmith203 / twitter.com