#1

Every friend group has a weatherman. If yours doesn’t, well, buddy — you’re the weatherman

— broti gupta (@BrotiGupta) August 1, 2020

#2

No one:
Me alone in the kitchen: Okay guys so now I’m going to preheat my oven to 350

— Gabby 🧚🏽‍♀️ (@bria_simone21) August 1, 2020

#3

Charcuterie is just what happens when you have a Depressed Meal and eat assorted things straight out of the fridge, but you're Business Depressed so you put it on a bit of wood.

— Natalie'Zorah (@TerraSirena) August 4, 2020

#4

normalize barking back at dogs when they bark at you

— ena ²⁸ (@RAINBERRYROGUE) August 2, 2020

#5

I miss crowded bars, big dinner parties and coughing directly into my friends' mouths

— Caroline Moss (@CarolineMoss) August 6, 2020

#6

I love masks. I can’t believe I let y’all just breathe on me before.

— cristina arreola (@C_Arreola) August 5, 2020

#7

y’all keep drinking sparkling water, why don’t u just put ur tongue on a charger

— sarah lugor! (@sarahlugor) August 5, 2020

#8

Say yes to masks
And no to bras.

Free the titi
But protect the city

— Lia_Lia🇯🇲 (@lord_lia) August 5, 2020

#9

i kno you dont want kids to miss a year of school cause they’ll fall behind but we never missed a year and my classmates still grew up to fall for pyramid schemes

— Dani Fernandez (@msdanifernandez) August 5, 2020

#10

some girls belong to the streets but i belong to the ponds bc i’m a silly goose

— whit (@whitgailk) August 5, 2020

#11

Landlords be like “it’s an old building” alright then I’ll pay old rent, here’s 20 bucks it’s a fortune

— waria ☭ (@EternalDago) August 4, 2020

#12

i just think if i chewed lava quick enough it wouldn’t be too bad

— shar (@sharloola) August 5, 2020

#13

walked by a lady in a mask and I was in my mask and we were obviously trying to smile at each other but it wasn’t working because mask and I was like what do I do shit shit and then she saluted me and i’ve been in shock for 5 hours she knocked that one the fuck out of the park

— audrey farnsworth (@audipenny) August 3, 2020

#14

My ex keeps telling me I’m being “petty,” and it’s like, dude, spellcheck, it’s P-R-E-T-T-Y

— Ginny Hogan_ (@ginnyhogan_) August 6, 2020

#15

My family is gossipy but about nature. We’re like “OMG did u see those wind gusts during that storm?! I bet SOOOO many trees fell down. Let’s drive around the neighborhood and look 👀👀👀”

— katie jo (@katiejoyofosho) August 5, 2020

#16

the dentist just asked me to open up and now I can’t stop crying

— Mom Jeans (@momjeansplease) August 4, 2020

#17

After 5 months of me bra-less-ly watching it, this TV has had enough. pic.twitter.com/sjoI1Mzq1x

— amber ruffin (@ambermruffin) August 4, 2020

#18

cant believe rihanna had 10 year old me singing about how chains and whips excite me

— em🎃 (@emxlyyyy_xo) August 5, 2020

#19

so amazing how my parents found each other even though they were from opposite ends of the eyebrow spectrum pic.twitter.com/7ryJXhNjNv

— a lesbian’s lesbian (@mitraskoura) August 2, 2020

#20

you know, suddenly it makes a lot of sense now why so much YA dystopia only took place in America with no mention of what was happening with the rest of the world

they were all probably just chilling

— chloe gong 🖤 (@thechloegong) August 2, 2020

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Preview photo credit: mitraskoura / twitter.com