#1

A friend FaceTimed me without warning today and I have since cut this friend fully out of my life

— blaire erskine (@blaireerskine) January 24, 2021

#2

the next time everyone’s about to make a lot of money super easily could someone shoot me a text

— Sarah Lazarus (@sarahclazarus) January 28, 2021

#3

NEVER RUN A FRUIT STAND IN AN ACTION MOVIE

— Emily Greene (@EmAsInMoney) January 24, 2021

#4

if you try to correct my grammar, i will think fewer of you

— Sammy (@thesammyhannah) January 24, 2021

#5

I don’t want student loan forgiveness, I want student loan revenge

— Sari Beliak (@thecrassceiling) January 25, 2021

#6

me: I’ll take a short nap

also me after 4 hours: pic.twitter.com/ZU376pMSQs

— 🦋 (@immanwrld) January 25, 2021

#7

This chapter of quarantine is called stocks and silhouettes

— Jessica Udeh (@jessicnnt) January 28, 2021

#8

i don’t get MAD easily.. i get annoyed easily. MAJOR difference.

— ♡ (@crxsvo) January 23, 2021

#9

There’s too much going on. That rock that looked like Cookie Monster would’ve been earth-shattering in 2014

— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) January 26, 2021

#10

"once covid is over" is starting to feel a lot like "i'll pay you back tomorrow"

— ziwe (@ziwe) January 24, 2021

#11

Me in the middle of the night thinking about that shirt I haven’t seen in a while pic.twitter.com/95WbmfAapU

— 🌻 (@kingmick_xx) January 26, 2021

#12

What can i do to make sure nothing bad ever happens to me ever again ? so far my idea is buy something

— helena (@freshhel) January 24, 2021

#13

So many JLo movies start with a long sequence to ease you into the idea that in the world of this movie, JLo is just a regular looking girl.

— Ashley Nicole Black (@ashleyn1cole) January 23, 2021

#14

whenever someone my age is like ‘my husband...’ my first thought is ???? but we’re kids ????? (I am 29)

— danielle weisberg (@danielleweisber) January 27, 2021

#15

Hi. I’m 42 and still don’t know what to do with my arms while I sleep.

— your other mom (@difficultpatty) January 26, 2021

#16

Me: doesn’t own a car
My voicemail: we are trying to reach you about your vehicle’s warranty

— quinta brunson (@quintabrunson) January 23, 2021

#17

Two roads diverged in a yellow woods pic.twitter.com/QhVipnUfKG

— f o x x x x x i (@foxxi_loxxi) January 26, 2021

#18

does anyone want to be in love so we can split rent

— anna (@anna__online) January 23, 2021

#19

Middle finger hit different when ur nails are done

— Hazlo Nancy🌾 (@makeitnancyyyy) January 27, 2021

#20

them 3am waters be hittin just like this pic.twitter.com/Z5Y3Fnjdt5

— S (@REDSEASHAWTY) January 23, 2021

Visit our "Funniest Tweets From Women" page for past roundups.

Preview photo credit: anna__online / twitter.com