#1

Joe Exotic is Steve Irwin’s Wario

— Clara Rehmann (@ramencult) March 28, 2020

#2

hear me out: waterbed but it's filled with wine

— Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) March 31, 2020

#3

“It’s too early for this sh*t.”

- Me, from 12am to 11:59 PM every day

— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) March 30, 2020

#4

if I survive this i plan to throw an absolutely debaucherous post corona party that ruins all of my personal relationships

— ziwe (@ziwe) March 29, 2020

#5

Not to brag, but my internal monologue is one unceasing scream

— Karen Chee (@karencheee) April 1, 2020

#6

i hate this pandemic if i wanted to waste my early 20s i would have gotten married

— kat (@ratmobbs) March 31, 2020

#7

My new film, “I Broke My Leg and Bedazzled It,” has a star-studded cast.

— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) March 31, 2020

#8

I wish days of the week underwear were still a thing so I knew what the hell day of the week it is.

— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) April 1, 2020

#9

Anybody else up to 6 meals a day

— Anna Nonymous (@osoplain) March 29, 2020

#10

Me: I'm going to sleep in today.

The 500 birds outside my window: lol

— Rad Tasia, The Wiggling Penguin (@GroovyTasia) April 1, 2020

#11

Yogurt (yoghurt, yogourt, yoghourt) is the Megan (Meghan, Meagan, Meaghan) of fermented milks.

— .Mela. (@mela_shea) March 31, 2020

#12

Me: I'm going to sleep in today.

The 500 birds outside my window: lol

— Rad Tasia, The Wiggling Penguin (@GroovyTasia) April 1, 2020

#13

my husband-elect returned from a run to the store with both toilet paper AND a roll of paper towels and now i think i know how cavewomen felt when their cavemen returned from a hunt with a woolly mammoth

— Erin GARGAMEL Ryan (@morninggloria) April 2, 2020

#14

Through the drive thru speaker: would you like to try the chicken club

Me: [ imagining chickens getting down on the dance floor ] hell yes I would

— Pru (@prufrockluvsong) March 28, 2020

#15

ME: I wonder why I'm anxious

THE PANDEMIC: Hey there-

ME: [avoiding eye contact] If only there was a way to figure out why I'm so anxious

— Roxi Horror 💀🌸 (@roxiqt) March 28, 2020

#16

The last time I was this emotionally confused was the battle scene in Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2

— Ashley C. Ford (@iSmashFizzle) March 30, 2020

#17

god: you can climb the tallest trees

cat: cool will i be able to get down

god:

cat: answer me god

— Laurazepam (@andlikelaura) April 1, 2020

#18

Being an introvert who wants to stay home vs being an introvert who HAS TO stay home pic.twitter.com/rvb5fvyIK0

— Meredith Ireland (@MeredithIreland) April 1, 2020

#19

When you’ve run out of places to go in your home while self-isolating… pic.twitter.com/EQfowiTxiu

— batkaren (@batkaren) April 2, 2020

Visit our "Funniest Tweets From Women" page for past roundups.

Preview photo credit: ramencult / twitter.com