#1

i am "furiously googling three of the references you just made" years old

— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) March 11, 2020

#2

i wish we could go back to how it was before, in the pods

— illithid tadpole (@andrealongchu) March 10, 2020

#3

Next to Carrie's apartment, the most unrealistic part of Sex and the City is that Charlotte didn't have 10 screaming sorority sisters as her bridesmaids. pic.twitter.com/G2ND1xhvOZ

— Sophie Vershbow (@svershbow) March 9, 2020

#4

Canceling all of my brunch appearances until further notice.

— Nina Parker (@MzGossipGirl) March 11, 2020

#5

a little worried bc I have the same symptoms as Tom Hanks (tall, handsome, kind, everyman)

— Karen Chee (@karencheee) March 12, 2020

#6

Anxiety, or, as I like to call it, God's Caffeine

— Chelsea Hodson (@ChelseaHodson) March 8, 2020

#7

I caught myself admiring the architecture of my local grocery store so I guess I’ve hit peak adulthood.

— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻‍♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) March 10, 2020

#8

Who told the bots that “hello dear” was an appropriate human greeting & not the way haunted dolls speak to each other

— Pigeon Fancier (@isabelzawtun) March 9, 2020

#9

Took my mom a record amount of time to roast my love life by calling it a self quarantine so there’s that

— Ella Cerón (@ellaceron) March 10, 2020

#10

A hundred years ago instead of reading this you would’ve been lying in a feather bed hoping no one discovers the hillside where you pick wild strawberries

— Mave (@MavenofHonor) March 9, 2020

#11

if u live with a significant other and think all the co-quarantining will cause u to break up, email me at megzukin at gmail dot com. i’m not writing a story im just messy and love drama

— meg 🤢 (@bymeg) March 13, 2020

#12

I know somebody needs to hear this right now DO NOT TEXT YOUR EX I REPEAT DO NOT TEXT YOUR EX

— Charlene deGuzman (@charstarlene) March 13, 2020

#13

People who use any other buttons on your microwave besides 30 Seconds and Popcorn, explain yourselves.

— Divergent Mama (@divergentmama) March 12, 2020

#14

If the world ends after I did all this therapy work to get my sh*t together, I'm gonna be so fu*king pissed

— Heben Nigatu (@heavenrants) March 11, 2020

#15

some of you lack the disassociative skills needed to emotionally survive the apocalypse and it shows

— ziwe (@ziwe) March 10, 2020

#16

You’re telling me my professor who can’t stop the YouTube autoplayer from playing the next video is going to teach classes online? This should be good.

— Nikki Insana (@NikkiInsana) March 11, 2020

#17

I’ve been cancelling plans at the last minute for years so I guess you could say that I invented social distancing.

— Gila Pfeffer (@Gilapfeffer) March 12, 2020

#18

I just stress-ate a whole cantaloupe. Sh*t’s getting weird

— Jia Tolentino (@jiatolentino) March 12, 2020

#19

Me immediately zooming to the "personal life" section of every Wikipedia page pic.twitter.com/SErF0n1cPD

— Gabriella Paiella (@GMPaiella) March 12, 2020

#20

During social distancing, it’s important to remember good conference call etiquette:

- awkward silence
- can you hear me
- [weird small talk because someone is 10 min late]
- BEEP BOOP
- strange crunch
- heavy breath
- oops sorry you go ahead
- sorry no, you
- BOOP beep
- bye?

— Julieanne Smolinski (@BoobsRadley) March 10, 2020

Visit our "Funniest Tweets From Women" page for past roundups.

Preview photo credit: ChelseaHodson / twitter.com