#1

My mom pronounces it “aunt tiffa” and I laugh every time.

— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) September 5, 2020

#2

Is “gobble me swallow me” a good caption to use on thanksgiving??

— ✨🌱🍄🌞🧚🏼‍♀️ ✨ (@carriejjeffries) September 6, 2020

#3

therapist: how have you been coping with everything

me: with sarcasm mostly

therapist: has that been working

me: yeah it's been super great

— nash™ (@itsnashflynn) September 7, 2020

#4

Who are the siblingless people writing “hey sis!” and “hey bro!” into every movie and tv show

— Maybe: Lauren Ashley Smith (@msLAS) September 6, 2020

#5

should i live in new york where people think i’m stupid or LA where people think i’m ugly

— trash jones (@jzux) September 9, 2020

#6

when i was 22 i dated a guy who was 27 who broke up w me because we were “just at different places in our lives” and then he told me “for example i have to stretch every morning”

— steph mccann (@steph_mcca) September 8, 2020

#7

if i were shania twain, i would tweet “let’s go girls” every single morning for the rest of my life

— Liz Maupin (@LizMaupin) September 7, 2020

#8

"Are we still on?" - An attempt to cancel

— Gladys Knife (@jewelnotjule) September 10, 2020

#9

Does anyone really see a problem with demon possession? I for two do not.

— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) September 8, 2020

#10

I'm not saying I was drunk, I'm just saying that I don't recommend washing paper plates in the dishwasher.

— 🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ🎭 (@3sunzzz) September 7, 2020

#11

Very tempted to start a podcast called “Are You Mad at Me?” just so I have a quasi-reasonable excuse to interview every single one of my friends each week, at length, to determine whether or not they are actually in fact mad at me

— Julia Carpenter (@juliaccarpenter) September 9, 2020

#12

Imagine you miss a payment on a TESLA and it drives itself back to the dealership.

— BAYB❤️🤍🖤 (@DawnKeKe) September 7, 2020

#13

Zac Efron is dating a 25 year old waitress he met while she was working. It’s so hard to see someone else living your dream.

— Claire (@ClaireeeGallxo) September 9, 2020

#14

A trust fall but it’s just me taking off my bra

— Vision Bored (@VisionBored1) September 8, 2020

#15

i don't know if yall feel me but.. september, october, november is the LMNOP of the year

— bby noun (@shutupaida) September 8, 2020

#16

Lmao they really gave some Americans $1200 n said god bless you on your journey

— ho in this house (@JoellasWorld) September 7, 2020

#17

Revealing my baby's gender by crashing a tanker full of pink oil into a delicate coral reef

— Pjörk🐷 (@NicoleConlan) September 7, 2020

#18

I just matched with my old Spanish tutor on hinge and messaged him “hola” and he responded “u were always terrible at Spanish” 😭😭😭

— carol(yn) (@ballerguy) September 8, 2020

#19

online school sucks bc i can’t ask the person sitting next to me what we’re supposed to be doing

— soph (@wacksoph) September 8, 2020

#20

White managers when they see you eating your ethnic lunch: “Whatcha got there?”

— lele (@orang3_aura) September 8, 2020

Visit our "Funniest Tweets From Women" page for past roundups.

Preview photo credit: jewelnotjule / twitter.com