My toddler thinks that you have to line your tummy with good food first, so that you won’t get sick from the junk food
— THAT Toddler Mom (@that_toddler) June 24, 2020
If my son wants to watch one of his annoying shows that I’m not in the mood to tolerate I tell him that the main character is taking a nap. Works for now (he’s 4)!
— Anna (@realllyanna) June 24, 2020
I don’t make the rules… Wait. Yes. I do. Hey. HEY. I MAKE THE RULES!! -lies I tell my kids.
— Courtney (@Discourt) February 15, 2014
I'm just gonna lay down and rest my eyes for a second, and other lies I tell my kids.
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) July 1, 2017
Someday I'll tell my kids I smoked pot in college but lie about smoking cigarettes.
— Nicole Leigh Shaw (@NicoleLeighShaw) December 27, 2012
Wolves can blown down poorly constructed houses, and other lies I tell my children.
— No Idea: Daddy Blog (@byclintedwards) July 29, 2015
“No, we don’t lick people” and other lies we tell our kids.
— ☕️MacgyveringMom22🍷 (@MacgyveringM22) March 10, 2019
— Momsense Ensues (@momsense_ensues) June 24, 2018
Lies I tell my kid: Running is the root of all evil.
— CurrentlyCaprece (@MommieKnwsFresh) August 10, 2015
I've decided to tell my kid Santa died instead of "he doesn't exist" bc when you're this deep in a lie, you stick to the story.
— One Classy Motha (@MothaKim) December 5, 2012
The most creative lies I tell as a parent come from when my kids discover their artwork in the trash can.
— Momsense Ensues (@momsense_ensues) August 30, 2020
Need to start lying to the children that the weekends are actually school days so they stop waking up so early
— Becky Currell (@becnard) November 22, 2014
My friend tells her kids that her engine won’t start until her car hears their seatbelts go click and now I’m curious what other cute lies parents tell.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) June 24, 2020
LOL at parents who don't lie to their kids!
Sorry son. They stopped making batteries for that toy. Guess we'll just have to throw it away.
— Babies Daddy (@dshack8) December 11, 2013
"I'm letting you win," is just one of the many lies I tell my kids.
— Stella G. Maddox (@StellaGMaddox) August 13, 2013
1 Parent lie that continues to live on through generations is telling our kids we can't see to drive when the cabin light on in the car.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) August 5, 2019
Having you guys as kids is Father's Day gift enough.
- lies dads tell their children
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) June 11, 2015
My kids think the Tooth Fairy is allergic to dust and she can't come unless their rooms are super clean.
— Mindy Mejia (@MejiaWrites) June 24, 2020
Heard another parent tell their kid that when the ice cream truck plays its jingle
it means they’ve sold out of ice cream. Using that now.
— The Dad (@thedad) May 18, 2019
"I'll time you!" - And other white lies I tell my kids
— Scary Mommy (@ScaryMommy) January 6, 2019
I tell my kids they can be anything they want when they grow up b/c it’s important to for them to get used to hearing lies at any early age.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 27, 2013
My 6 year old asked where babies came from.
I told him the truth.
While I was sitting and basking in my pride at being an Honest Mom, he just stared before saying: “I wasn’t expecting that. That was inappropriate.”
Then: “DID THE DOCTORS WATCH YOU DO IT”
I shoulda lied.
— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) September 18, 2020
Common Parent Lies: "There's no more." "That's hot/spicy." "Everyone is sleeping." "Go hide, I'll come find you."
— Bunmi Laditan (@HonestToddler) May 31, 2012
I’m pretty sure “ I’m not gonna say it again” is the biggest lie I tell my children.
— Heather #BLM (@dishs_up) September 11, 2018
Don’t judge other parents for lying to their kids unless you plan on telling your own child their drawing of a “rocket” looks like a flaming space dildo.
— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) May 20, 2020
“When YOU’RE an adult you can do what YOU want.”
- and other lies I tell my children
— MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) September 1, 2019
Of all the lies I tell my kids, "I can see it from here" is my favorite.
— Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) March 21, 2017
Bored so I’ve decided to convince my 12yo that zebras are just stripy horses.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) July 5, 2020
Two months until Christmas and I’m already running out of lies to tell my kids about the Amazon packages showing up
Kids: ooh! What is it?
Me: I think daddy ordered a tool for his deck project...BORING lol
[Husband walks in] what’s up?
Me: Not much, I need you to build a deck
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) October 24, 2018
Of all the lies I've told my children, "Try these beet pancakes, they're delicious!" Is probably the cruelest.
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) August 4, 2015
It's weird how we tell kids not to lie then tell them how good the picture they drew is.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) April 15, 2016
I’ve convinced my son the capital of Alabama is Sweet Home and the capital of West Virginia is Mountain Mama. Sure, he’ll fail the quiz, but he’ll be great at karaoke.
— David Vienna (@davidvienna) December 10, 2019
I just wanted five minutes to drink my coffee so I sent my kid in the other room to look for a toy that’s in my pocket.
Follow me for more parenting hacks.
— 👻 Haunt the Nanny 👻 (@not_thenanny) May 20, 2020
3-year-old: Daddy, are you cool?
It turns out I don’t feel bad about lying to children.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 16, 2014
Parents are allowed to be hypocrites. For example, I tell my kids it's wrong to lie AND that Baby Shark was destroyed in a fire at the internet factory
— The Dad (@thedad) April 11, 2019
Preview photo credit: momsense_ensues / twitter.com