#1

My toddler thinks that you have to line your tummy with good food first, so that you won’t get sick from the junk food

— THAT Toddler Mom (@that_toddler) June 24, 2020

#2

If my son wants to watch one of his annoying shows that I’m not in the mood to tolerate I tell him that the main character is taking a nap. Works for now (he’s 4)!

— Anna (@realllyanna) June 24, 2020

#3

I don’t make the rules… Wait. Yes. I do. Hey. HEY. I MAKE THE RULES!! -lies I tell my kids.

— Courtney (@Discourt) February 15, 2014

#4

I'm just gonna lay down and rest my eyes for a second, and other lies I tell my kids.

— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) July 1, 2017

#5

Someday I'll tell my kids I smoked pot in college but lie about smoking cigarettes.

— Nicole Leigh Shaw (@NicoleLeighShaw) December 27, 2012

#6

Wolves can blown down poorly constructed houses, and other lies I tell my children.

— No Idea: Daddy Blog (@byclintedwards) July 29, 2015

#7

“No, we don’t lick people” and other lies we tell our kids.

— ☕️MacgyveringMom22🍷 (@MacgyveringM22) March 10, 2019

#8

The biggest lie we tell our kids: sorry buddy, McDonald’s doesn’t sell toys at breakfast. #DontJudgeMe #parenting

— Momsense Ensues (@momsense_ensues) June 24, 2018

#9

Lies I tell my kid: Running is the root of all evil.

— CurrentlyCaprece (@MommieKnwsFresh) August 10, 2015

#10

I've decided to tell my kid Santa died instead of "he doesn't exist" bc when you're this deep in a lie, you stick to the story.

— One Classy Motha (@MothaKim) December 5, 2012

#11

The most creative lies I tell as a parent come from when my kids discover their artwork in the trash can.

— Momsense Ensues (@momsense_ensues) August 30, 2020

#12

Need to start lying to the children that the weekends are actually school days so they stop waking up so early

— Becky Currell (@becnard) November 22, 2014

#13

My friend tells her kids that her engine won’t start until her car hears their seatbelts go click and now I’m curious what other cute lies parents tell.

— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) June 24, 2020

#14

LOL at parents who don't lie to their kids!

Sorry son. They stopped making batteries for that toy. Guess we'll just have to throw it away.

— Babies Daddy (@dshack8) December 11, 2013

#15

"I'm letting you win," is just one of the many lies I tell my kids.

— Stella G. Maddox (@StellaGMaddox) August 13, 2013

#16

1 Parent lie that continues to live on through generations is telling our kids we can't see to drive when the cabin light on in the car.

— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) August 5, 2019

#17

Having you guys as kids is Father's Day gift enough.

- lies dads tell their children

— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) June 11, 2015

#18

My kids think the Tooth Fairy is allergic to dust and she can't come unless their rooms are super clean.

— Mindy Mejia (@MejiaWrites) June 24, 2020

#19

Heard another parent tell their kid that when the ice cream truck plays its jingle
it means they’ve sold out of ice cream. Using that now.

— The Dad (@thedad) May 18, 2019

#20

"I'll time you!" - And other white lies I tell my kids

— Scary Mommy (@ScaryMommy) January 6, 2019

#21

I tell my kids they can be anything they want when they grow up b/c it’s important to for them to get used to hearing lies at any early age.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 27, 2013

#22

My 6 year old asked where babies came from.

I told him the truth.

While I was sitting and basking in my pride at being an Honest Mom, he just stared before saying: “I wasn’t expecting that. That was inappropriate.”

Then: “DID THE DOCTORS WATCH YOU DO IT”

I shoulda lied.

— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) September 18, 2020

#23

Common Parent Lies: "There's no more." "That's hot/spicy." "Everyone is sleeping." "Go hide, I'll come find you."

— Bunmi Laditan (@HonestToddler) May 31, 2012

#24

I’m pretty sure “ I’m not gonna say it again” is the biggest lie I tell my children.

— Heather #BLM (@dishs_up) September 11, 2018

#25

Don’t judge other parents for lying to their kids unless you plan on telling your own child their drawing of a “rocket” looks like a flaming space dildo.

— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) May 20, 2020

#26

“When YOU’RE an adult you can do what YOU want.”

- and other lies I tell my children

— MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) September 1, 2019

#27

Of all the lies I tell my kids, "I can see it from here" is my favorite.

— Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) March 21, 2017

#28

Bored so I’ve decided to convince my 12yo that zebras are just stripy horses.

— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) July 5, 2020

#29

Two months until Christmas and I’m already running out of lies to tell my kids about the Amazon packages showing up

Kids: ooh! What is it?

Me: I think daddy ordered a tool for his deck project...BORING lol

[Husband walks in] what’s up?

Me: Not much, I need you to build a deck

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) October 24, 2018

#30

Of all the lies I've told my children, "Try these beet pancakes, they're delicious!" Is probably the cruelest.

— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) August 4, 2015

#31

It's weird how we tell kids not to lie then tell them how good the picture they drew is.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) April 15, 2016

#32

I’ve convinced my son the capital of Alabama is Sweet Home and the capital of West Virginia is Mountain Mama. Sure, he’ll fail the quiz, but he’ll be great at karaoke.

— David Vienna (@davidvienna) December 10, 2019

#33

I just wanted five minutes to drink my coffee so I sent my kid in the other room to look for a toy that’s in my pocket.

Follow me for more parenting hacks.

— 👻 Haunt the Nanny 👻 (@not_thenanny) May 20, 2020

#34

3-year-old: Daddy, are you cool?

Me: Yes.

It turns out I don’t feel bad about lying to children.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 16, 2014

#35

Parents are allowed to be hypocrites. For example, I tell my kids it's wrong to lie AND that Baby Shark was destroyed in a fire at the internet factory

— The Dad (@thedad) April 11, 2019

Preview photo credit: momsense_ensues / twitter.com