Adult Life Equivalents Of Calling A Teacher “Mom”

Sometimes brains fart. It'll inspire some laughter as people realize you had no idea what you were saying for a moment.

I was given a lift home by a colleague from work once, and when he stopped to let me out of the car, I leaned in for a kiss, since that was what I would do with my wife. Thankfully, he was looking the other way at the time.
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I have accidentally said "love you" when hanging up on a work call.
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Does putting veggies in the washing machine instead of the fridge count?

With the hubby at a Chinese buffet. Obviously Asian waiter brings something hubby asked for, and hubby says "Gracias." Without missing a beat, server says, "De nada."
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Calling your girlfriend by your ex's name.
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I got stopped and handed over my credit card (without knowing it) and office said "I don't take Discover."
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I'm so used to praising from working with kids, that I've accidentally said, "good boy" a couple of times to my husband.
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At Dollar Tree the other day my boyfriend walked up to the cashier and she said almost immediately “How was your meal?” and then, “Oh! wrong job!”
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Walking up to the wrong car and freaking out when you can't unlock it.
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On the way back from a client meeting with one of the partners, he wasn't paying attention when the light turned green and I said "Hey, babe, you gotta go." And then I died.
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My friend was on the toilet, someone knocked and she said: "Come in!"
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One of my soldiers called me dad in boot camp, it was pretty hard not to laugh.
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Well, I accidentally rubbed the back of some random chick at Walmart thinking she was my wife.
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I once went to court to dispute a traffic ticket. When prepping my case, I went over my statement with my wife. Luckily I did, because I had "Your Majesty" written down instead of "Your Honor" at the very beginning.
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When someone says, "happy birthday" and you say "thanks, you too" by accident.
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I referred to the pediatrician as “the veterinarian” for the first year or two of our kid’s life. Even did it in the office and over the phone with staff. Yes, we had pets long, long before we had kids. Thankfully, they claimed to find it charming, and reported I wasn't the first to make the mistake.
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I’m a dental hygienist. my patient was a man who had just turned 91 the day before.
instead of saying “happy belated birthday!” like a normal human being, I accidentally (and very loudly) said “HAPPY LAST BIRTHDAY!!!!”
The look on his face... y’all.
This was also my second day at my new job.
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I’ve worked in restaurants since I was 16. When I bring someone to a table I say “enjoy.” After any drink or plate of food I put down at a table I do the same. Well I guess it was just inevitable that when a man asked me where the washroom was and I directed him that I told him to “enjoy!”

Once I was at the airport and I went to get a sandwich. I stood at the counter to tell the worker to give me a turkey sandwich, which he prepared. He handed it to me and his co-worker noticed he didn't microwave it, so he extended his hand to me over those glass container thingies which have food displayed in them, so he could take it to microwave it. I didn't understand why he was extending his hand, so I smiled and shook it. He laughed and pointed at my food and told me he had to heat it. I felt dumb as hell.
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My old boss and my husband's names were one letter different. (I worked in a daycare, so the owner and all the staff often texted one another to update each other on kids, any issues parents had, and general questions.) My husband was working 3rd, and I was working 1st. We didn't get to see each other much, and most of our conversation was done via text.
On my very first week, I was in a rush after getting into work, and texted my husband the same thing I always texted him when I got into work.
"Hey babe, I'm here. I hope your night was as awesome as you are <3. I love you soooooooo much. Your dinner is in the crock pot."
When I went on break, I checked my phone. Nothing back from my husband, but my boss had texted me. It read "Love you too! Mwah!"
I was so confused until I looked back at the messages and realized I had sent her the text meant for my husband. Changed her contact name to "Boss" after that one.
Thank God she had a good sense of humor about it.
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Preview photo credit: gazzaskebab /