Love can be messy at times. And no one knows that better than married folks.

#1

My husband and I have this rule that whoever opens the clean dishwasher has to unload it. It’s been full since 1995.

— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) November 7, 2019

#2

My husband unloaded the dishwasher so I guess now it’s time to have a parade for him

— JPo (@Peauxtassium) November 11, 2018

#3

*pile of dishes in the sink*

*laundry hamper overflowing*

*toothpaste smeared across the sinks*

*toys scattered across the house*

Husband: *leaf-blowing the attic*

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) October 17, 2019

#4

My wife needs 6 bags for a weekend trip but can fit 6 weeks of garbage and a couch into a single bag to avoid emptying the kitchen trash.

— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) June 8, 2017

#5

Husband: I emptied the toaster crumbs & cleaned the toaster.

Me: Aw!!! I was going to do that today!

— Lorie🇨🇦 (@LorieGZ) March 24, 2018

#6

husband: *mopping up pools of blood from the kitchen floor*

me: *walks in* OH MY GOD

husband: babe, I can explain-

me: you’re cleaning 🥰

— Sassparilla (@Megatronic13) June 12, 2019

#7

Me: Well, this calls for a celebration *cracks open beer*

Wife: ...you took out the trash

— Chad Read (@squirrel74wkgn) July 10, 2018

#8

The stress from my wife watching me wash the dishes while she waits to dry them is unbearable.

— Chad Read (@squirrel74wkgn) March 24, 2019

#9

I write fake chores on my to-do list just to scribble them out, then my husband thinks I do more.

— 🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ🎭 (@3sunzzz) April 24, 2018

#10

[cleaning out our bedroom]

Me: Half of this stuff is junk we don't need.

Wife: The other half is mine.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 4, 2018

#11

If one spouse empties the dishwasher and the other spouse isn't around to hear it, did it really happen?

— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) January 6, 2020

#12

"You don't load the dishwasher right," I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) May 6, 2019

#13

[aliens invading our home]

Wife: TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES, I JUST VACUUMED

— Chad Read (@squirrel74wkgn) March 12, 2019

#14

I appreciate my husband cleaning before we have guests coming over but he always cleans the weirdest sh*t. Our kitchen will look like a tornado blew through but instead of putting sh*t away this dude will be up in the attic scrubbing the walls like “iT hAs To Be CLeAn eMiLy”

— motherducker (@houseandhens) February 3, 2019

#15

Female Astronaut: [on historic first all-female space walk]

Husband [texting from Earth]: hey where do we keep the dishwasher detergent

— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) October 18, 2019

#16

Anytime I'm folding laundry and my wife didn't turn her clothes right side out I throw them in the trash and tell her the dryer ate them.

— Forward March (@RunOldMan) June 12, 2020

#17

Pretty sure my wife’s memoir would be called: “Oh my god, just take the extra 2 seconds and put it in the dishwasher.”

— Tired Dad of 2 (@Tired_Dad_of_2) September 16, 2019

#18

I opened the dishwasher and it's full of clean dishes and I'm scared my wife is going to know that I know.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 21, 2017

#19

Pretty sure my wife’s memoir would be called: “Oh my god, just take the extra 2 seconds and put it in the dishwasher.”

— Tired Dad of 2 (@Tired_Dad_of_2) September 16, 2019

#20

Rage vacuuming is like regular vacuuming except you’re married.

— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻‍♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) February 11, 2020

#21

Can’t wait for my wife to get home and see how clean the bathtub is! Not sure why people told me my 30s would be boring.

— lucy bexley 🦇🌈 (@bexley_lucy) September 13, 2020

#22

Marriage is basically cleaning the kitchen and then walking away for 2 seconds and then coming back and seeing the kitchen is destroyed again and getting super annoyed over and over again until you die.

— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) February 22, 2020

#23

Wife: Are you doing what I asked?

Me: Of course I am *vacuum noises*

Wife: Did you just text "vacuum noises"?

Me: *dialtone noises*

— Adam Cerious (@Browtweaten) July 17, 2018

#24

My husband: So the paper towels are up on the top shelf.

Me, at 5’2”: So I’m cleaning up spills with your socks. Got it.

— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) February 15, 2020

#25

Me: *vacuuming*
Husband: *eating chips on the couch in his underwear* I told you I was about to do that.

— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) March 3, 2020

#26

“BUT YOU NEVER REMEMBER THE TIME I CLEANED THE KITCHEN”

~Husbands in every argument

— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) October 19, 2019

#27

Andddd you officially regret not putting the laundry away when you and your bare assed spouse are standing infront of dumped over laundry bins trying to find something to wear for a Monday.

— Lezz Mom🌈 (@lezzimomof2) February 3, 2020

#28

*wife runs back into our house which is on fire*

What are you doing!?

W: I just want to straighten up a little before the firemen get here

— The Cre Master (@Jmboyd58) April 5, 2017

#29

[Married sext]
Wife: What are you wearing?
Me: Just my underwear 😉
Wife: So you still haven't done the laundry?
ME: No I have not

— Abam - defund the police (@AdamBroud) April 22, 2016

#30

“Where does this go?”

- my husband cleaning

— StaceyLynne (@StaceyLynne_44) March 4, 2018

Preview photo credit: StaceyLynne_44 / twitter.com, Phil Dunphy / Modern Family / ABC