23 Break-Up Lines, and They’re 100% Savage

Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.

They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
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Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
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Girl, you're looking like a snack and I'm going on a diet.
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We need to cover more ground so we should split up.
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Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
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Are we tectonic plates? Because we're drifting apart.
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We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
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#8 Found an old picture I took of the pillow I cried into, after my ex broke up with me.

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Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend. Not so fast.
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Are you a dollar bill? Because you're single.
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Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every day.
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I like my men how I like my coffee.
I don't like coffee.
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Are you a magician's assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.

Are you a thief? Because you stole a year of my life.
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Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
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#16 Got dumped by my girlfriend, but at least I got to keep the dog.

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Hey babe, I think it's about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore.
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#18 This is the fortune I got 2 hours before my girlfriend broke up with me... Very funny.

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I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn't expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
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Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we're breaking up.
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Are you α New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks.
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Babe are you a checkered flag?
Because we're finished.
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You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
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Preview photo credit: foxfunk /