#1

Me while depressed: You must be out of your mind if you think I’m about to work right now

Me in a good mood: You must be out of your mind if you think I’m about to work right now

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) February 3, 2021

#2

I hate that teeth require so much specific care, the rest of my bones are so low maintenance

— Duffy (@MelissatheDuffy) February 2, 2021

#3

The next time you're overcome by imposter syndrome just take a deep breath and remember that "Emily in Paris" got nominated for a Golden Globe.

— Alyssa Vingan (@alyssavingan) February 3, 2021

#4

came out to my parents (!) and my dad was like, oh that's nice! i thought you were going to ask for money!

— charlotte (@charlvickers) January 29, 2021

#5

wtf guy on bumble was like "I don't like bumble can we talk on snap?" I was like "I don't have snap u can message me on insta" and he was like "I don't have insta what about kik" I was like "I don't have kik what abt comments section of youtube video" and he unmatched me

— Sahana Srinivasan (@sahana_srini) January 31, 2021

#6

lmao this is the most 2021 rejection ever pic.twitter.com/jkEIkNkvOI

— Sarah Kelly (@thesarahkelly) January 31, 2021

#7

so my cats an idiot pic.twitter.com/GiBx4ua67j

— sarah 🌙 (@lunarcrossing_) February 2, 2021

#8

I love to ask 7 friends for advice and then just go completely rogue.

— Irene Tu (@irene_tu) February 2, 2021

#9

I’ve tweeted this before, but my ethics professor impregnated his son’s girlfriend. I think about it every class

— Sierra Armor 𝔼𝕣𝕚𝕤 (@unbridled_id) January 30, 2021

#10

[to the bartender] whatever they put in lava lamps please

— anja (@internetanja) February 3, 2021

#11

I like it when a friend asks me for my address. It’s usually because they’re sending me a gift, but sometimes I’m like, what if they’re sick of my sh*t and coming to kill me? It’s exciting either way.

— Akilah Green (@akilahgreen) February 4, 2021

#12

A dad at the coffee shop bought his child a cake pop and said "Don't tell Mom" and then winked at me, like I asked to be part of their twisted web of lies.

— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) January 31, 2021

#13

i was born on my due date and i was only 5 pounds. it’s called being considerate & respecting ur mother

— sydney battle (@SydneyBattle) February 4, 2021

#14

My brain everytime I get a slight headache pic.twitter.com/PC3A3shUis

— Gracie (@poshgracie) January 31, 2021

#15

Ella Emhoff looks like she is about to reject, one-by-one, all of the clothes I brought into Buffalo Exchange pic.twitter.com/OEUhwuwaol

— Julia Claire (@ohJuliatweets) February 1, 2021

#16

i can’t wait for toxic positivity to end and for us all to admit that gossiping is delightful

— Rachel Charlene (@RachelCharleneL) February 3, 2021

#17

I deleted instagram from my phone so I have more time to focus on my other passion which is scrolling through instagram on my laptop

— agz (@AlexisGZall) February 2, 2021

#18

My roommate and her girlfriend are constantly having orgasms in the morning and it’s like ladies, please, some of us are trying to read about The Troubles in Northern Ireland

— Julia Claire (@ohJuliatweets) January 31, 2021

#19

Someone said when a woman is done foolin with you, she start talking to you like she work for HR

“I wish you well on your future endeavors” 🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭😭

— still First Lady Moe (@flawl3ssNBr0wn2) February 1, 2021

#20

This note that arrived with an Etsy order is... the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me. WTF Peggy. pic.twitter.com/tiHmOQ1dq4

— Suki-Rose Simakis (@RuPaulPupkin) February 1, 2021

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Preview photo credit: irene_tu / twitter.com