in an unsettling reversal of my teenage years, I am now yelling at my parents for going out
— Brigid Delaney (@BrigidWD) March 16, 2020
I thought I was a homebody this whole time, but it turns out I’m a bewherethefuckiwannabe-body.
— Issa Rae (@IssaRae) March 18, 2020
working up the confidence to be someone who does an “ask me a question” story on Instagram
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) March 19, 2020
Day 1 of quarantine: I'm going to take this as an opportunity to improve my health
Day 2 of quarantine: Due to personal reasons, I am eating a lasagna in my shower
— Roxi Horror 💀🌸 (@roxiqt) March 18, 2020
me: man it's hard to stay active an exercise while isolated at home.
everyone: here's an online workout you can join! try this yoga video! here are exercises you can do at home!
me:...just so hard. oh well back to the couch.
— niki ang (@nicolaang) March 18, 2020
when i pass thru the background of my boyfriend's WFH video call: pic.twitter.com/1lTaeWUejs
— Kirsten King (@KirstenKing_) March 18, 2020
oh nowwww everyone wanna know what introverts do for fun
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) March 13, 2020
Welp, turns out I don’t want to eat salad in the apocalypse either
— Ashly Perez (@itsashlyperez) March 18, 2020
Self-isolation on Twitter has the chaotic energy of a middle-school sleepover at about 2 30 a.m. when you can't stop laughing at the word "horse."
— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) March 19, 2020
[scattered applause] is the saddest closed captioning on a comedy special
— chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 16, 2020
I either showered this morning or last Wednesday who’s to say? We’ll never know.
— Emily Murnane (@emily_murnane) March 17, 2020
me: i am gonna get so good at cooking
me, 3 days later: ah, another perfectly toasted Pop Tart
— Karen Chee (@karencheee) March 14, 2020
“Ask not what staying home on the couch can do for you, but what staying home on the couch can do for your country.”
— Kashana (@kashanacauley) March 15, 2020
Watched hoards of L.A. people ram fully-loaded shopping carts like bumper cars in a fight to clean out a canned food aisle and thought, "I'm not singing from a fu*king balcony with any of you."
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) March 16, 2020
hear me out: reeses cup but it’s the size of an extra large pizza
— Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) March 19, 2020
Now is the perfect time to start my ideal dating relationship: occasional texts, never seeing each other, I bring “my boyfriend” up in every single conversation I have.
— Ashley Nicole Black (@ashleyn1cole) March 16, 2020
me and me dad are sharing the dining room table working from home today. He's an aerospace engineer on a conference call ordering fuselage prototypes and I'm drawing a duck
— lydia 🍃 (@lydiakahill) March 19, 2020
me in 1 week watching a scrap of plastic blow across the street pic.twitter.com/ZvXlCIQbzy
— Jill Gutowitz (@jillboard) March 17, 2020
me writing a "how i work from home" guide pic.twitter.com/2jJkplVCLj
— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) March 18, 2020
The downside to everyone knowing you’re home under quarantine is not having an alibi for why you’re not responding. pic.twitter.com/4B4LpmGb9F
— Francheska (@HeyFranHey) March 18, 2020
Visit our "Funniest Tweets From Women" page for past roundups.
Preview photo credit: annetdonahue / twitter.com