— Walking Outside in Slippers (@WalkingOutside) November 20, 2015
I have a meeting in another building in 3 minutes but if you think I am turning this pump off while the milk is flowing, you're nuts.
— Elita (@ElitatheLibra) May 23, 2012
I bet a 14-year-old boy thinks a breast pump is something much cooler than what it actually is.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) July 28, 2014
Remember when you used to use the breast pump and sing Madonna's "Express Yourself"? Hahaha! Oh, wait we didn't do that either.
— Mouthy Housewives (@MouthyHousewife) August 17, 2012
My wife posted items to sell online but left my contact info so right now I'm having a lovely conversation about a breast pump.
— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) January 28, 2013
Another cute thing I tell my kids is that when it snows, Mother Nature is cleaning out her breast pump.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) September 7, 2011
Drywall guy: Hi there.
Me: Ignore the baby playing with the shattered remains of a breast pump. Now, let's patch some holes.
— Paige Kellerman (@PaigeKellerman) June 12, 2014
Hiding in a closet pumping twice a day is GETTING PRETTY OLD. Also, accidentally licking breast milk off my iPhone screen.
— Courtney (@Discourt) August 20, 2012
It's time to pump milk again. Can I get paid to pump? Or at least receive a free smoothie with every five bottles I fill?
— Kelcey Kintner (@mamabirddiaries) May 30, 2010
My 4yo son lovingly refers to my wife's breast pump as "the boobiesuckerthing." He's also called my chest, "boobies." This can't end well.
— HowToBeADad (@HowToBeADad) January 7, 2014
Well I successfully got unhooked from pump, consolidated milk, put in fridge and got to the bathroom before puking. Gold star?
— Brandy (@mannlymama) February 25, 2013
Was just treated to a fireworks show courtesy of my breast pump. 😱😱😱😱😱
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) October 29, 2018
Just cried while throwing out my old breast pump with the milk stains still in the tubing. The pump that made those funky noises, was a pain to use and clean, and helped me nourish my two babies now almost 4 and 7. Parenthood is complicated.
— Walking Outside in Slippers (@WalkingOutside) June 9, 2019
When I stored wife's breast pump away I accidentally included tips from a cake-icing gun. The next baby is gonna get some cool-shaped milk!
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) September 25, 2012
I can’t even describe how angry and jealous I am that people like Hannah get to have breast-pump backpacks. I had my child in the Stone Age!
— Emily Nussbaum (@emilynussbaum) April 17, 2017
I've got a hand breast pump and a riding crop in my bag. TSA should be fun!
— Kristen Mei Chase (@thatkristen) September 10, 2011
my bffs breast pump keeps saying TACO pic.twitter.com/bMXvDaigf6
— JennyPentland (@JennyPentland) June 2, 2016
The 2yo just tried to play my breast pump like a trumpet. Also, I scored more pics for the Photos To Show My Daughter's Future Dates album.
— HollowTreeVentures (@RobynHTV) August 13, 2013
Whoever said they've never cried over spilled milk has obviously never spilled 8ozs of breastmilk they just finished pumping.
— Courtney (@Discourt) December 7, 2014
When you accidentally turn the breast pump on full power ... 😳
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) February 18, 2016