A kindergartener said to me, “You know, you could wear makeup if you want to look pretty...”. I was wearing makeup.
chilerojoviva / Via twitter.com
I was having an in-depth conversation with my 4-year-old niece about Pokémon. When I told her that you can't actually catch Pokémon in real life, she said, "Well, not with your experience and attitude". I told my brother to ground her for a month.
TheLezAgenda / Via twitter.com
One time, my 6-year-old brother once pointed to a pimple on my face and said “It looks like you’re going through your awkward phase”.
kxyleemxrie / Via twitter.com
I was hugging my husband when my nephew tugged at the bottom of my shirt. We looked down at him, and he says "hey, can I get in on this action?"
10ChelseaDagger / Via twitter.com
I colored my hair blonde a couple years ago before Christmas, and my nephew who was 3 or 4 at the time said, "Halloween is over, Stephanie."
xstephxoxox / Via twitter.com
My brother started whistling, and my niece turned to look at him in awe and said: “Uncle Julio, you speak bird?!”
sadierome / Via twitter.com
My grandson, who was 5 at the time, saw I was gaining weight and he said, "Your getting old."
rebelld / Via twitter.com
I asked my 4-year-old son if he wanted our new baby to be a boy or a girl. He looked at me quite seriously and replied, “I just want the baby to be Batman”!!
DavidMckinnley / Via twitter.com
My 5-year-old nephew burped while we were at a restaurant. My mom said, “Hey if you were on a date, would you do that?” He said, “Yeah, and then I would just say, ‘Hey, was that you?’”
kingsnsync / Via twitter.com
My 4-year-old son lost one of his bouncy balls. All he could tell me was that it was orange. I asked him if it was kind of see-through or solid. He replied, "It's not translucent if that's what you're asking." Such big words.
WilliamFreese / Via twitter.com
I teach in an elementary school. I had a student come up to me one day at recess, and he said (as he pointed to my chin), "I see what you are doing, you are growing a beard!"
MichelleHallet2 / Via twitter.com
"Maybe is supposed to be equal parts yes and no, but in this house maybe means no." - My 5-year-old after I answered maybe when he asked to go to Target.
JancyeSturd11 / Via twitter.com
"If they sleep all day and party all night, when do they have time for play dates?"
anabrooks__ / Via twitter.com
When I was born, and my parents brought me home from the hospital, my older sister said "Oh, we're keeping him?"
NockNockWhoDis / Via twitter.com
After my 4-year-old niece dropped her apple juice, she sighs and said, “I’m so tired of living.”
MaddieDxrk / Via twitter.com
A kid was telling his friend that he writes like a doctor, and his friend asked what do you meant. The kid said: “Nobody understands what I write!”
shwetakilledar2 / Via twitter.com
My daughter asked me if we could buy a kitten and I said no because I'm allergic. Her response was “Well, you could sleep outside.”
dhygiene21 / Via twitter.com
From a friend who just sat down after a long day with 3 small kids and sick husband:
Daughter: "You need to take care of other things besides yourself."
Mom: "I haven’t taken care of myself all day."
Daughter: "Yes you did, you washed the dishes and the house."
AprilFreedley / Via twitter.com
As a teacher, I hear funny stuff daily.
Here’s a funny one I heard a couple of weeks ago...
Kid 1: “Hey. How do you solve this equation?”
Kid 2: “Oh, that’s easy.
X = NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!”
I nearly retired after that!
GordonDOlsen / Via twitter.com
Preview photo credit: chilerojoviva / twitter.com